I've just read some brilliant news for us 'Slightly Glamorous But Never Mutton-esque Women With Kids Old Enough To Be At School'... I think I need to shorten this; let's call us GNM's (Glamorous, Never Mutton-esque), because I think it's become trendy to write in daggy old engineer-favoured acronyms.
Anyway, fellow GNM's, natural hair and make up is IN at the NewYork and Milan runway shows, which are running away as we speak. Hallelujah!
As we know, this NEVER means we just bump on out of bed, throw together a sandwich and step onto the school bitumen a la birdsnest bedhead and sleep encrusted eyeballs. Nooooo.
The hallelujah part of this news, is that natural is what suits our GNM style of face (with perhaps a few of those personality lines and other distinguishing bits and bobs about it). Heavy eye colour just exaggerates our black rings due to all night partying of children, and dark lipstick unfortunately finds it's way down the estuaries of our upper lip. So, light on, all the way.
What we must take particular care with, and on which we can err on the side of darkness, is eyebrows. Very important. In fact, THE MOST important.
Me, turning up at school. On time.
My beautiful friend recently told me that my face disappeared into nothing because of my paltry eyebrows. (She'd had champagne). So I popped into her beauty palouuurrrr to remedy my lack of face. The reaction when I stepped out knocked me off my flat-soled sandshoes. "You look like you've got a full face of makeup on!"... "Wow, look at you, so glamorous!" etc etc.
Even - now listen up to this one - MY HUSBAND NOTICED! This is the man who didn't realise til a friends husband (yes, a man, and a heterosexual one at that) said, "Nice new hair Felicity", after I'd had it cut short and dyed dark. From long and nearly white blond. This man, my husband, noticed my new eyebrows.
So, you get the picture - impact impact impact. If you want my eyebrows you need the magic of Christina at Little Luxuries 0414 990 317, firstname.lastname@example.org.
The other thing that was important on those running along the runway - not planes - was skin. Flawless, a little bit shiney sheeny, a pop of blush on the cheeks, and smatter of translucent powder to stitch it all up. Now this takes time to achieve properly, and I know I get it wrong all the time, primarily because my other friend is always 'blending' for me in the playground. (She's not had champagne, she's just bold like that).
I also reinvested in an eyelash curler because I think it might help to open up eyes that look a little droopy some days, thanks to all night partying of children.
So here we are: GNM's - we're in! We're fashionable, we are the HOT things of the moment. Lap it up ladies.
Don't think I'll grace a runway though, I'm likely to fall clean off the end in anything higher than my flat soled sandshoes.