A Mummy-duck is...

...you know, someone who is, well, a mum, derr...

A Mummy-duck is someone who is COMPLETELY glamorous on the inside, but milk-stained with snot under her fingernails in actual appearance - and on this note it is someone who is misunderstood by handsome men and trendy women.
A Mummy-duck is also a wonderful woman who loves her babies and loves being a mummy and would be absolutely nothing else. Until it comes to about 5pm everyday, and then she REALLY wishes she were an astronaut.
A Mummy-duck is someone interested in other people's poo stories.
A Mummy-duck is an insomniac by default.

Part of a Mummy-duck's job is:
To aim to get out of her pyjama's before walking out the door.
To, after changing 65 poo's in half an hour, remember to go to the toilet herself before walking out the door and going to a park where there are a million kids toilet training and NO TOILETS.
To cultivate a large vocabularly to describe poo.
To drink wine. Pretty excessively. (Anytime after 7am is fine - yes, even if the kids are not yet up).
To eat cake. (Incidently, I'm convinced that's where the manners of taking a little something to your hosts house arose: it was Mothers who thought 'hmm, I bet she's a pumpkin seeds and herbal tea kind of affair, yes, I'd better BMO (bring my own) cake').
To learn to drive and sleep concurrently (it shouldn't say "Baby on Board", it should say "Mother Driving").
To hold two conversations at once. For example: "She said she was going to - yes, it is a dump truck darling - have her veins done - wow, a big orange digger - next week and that's why - rubbish truuuuck - she can't come to dinner on the Friday night - come here darling you have a booger".

Waddle on duckie-mums.


  1. Go Mummy-ducks of the world!!!

    Incidently as part of teaching my children good manners when speaking to their mum, they must always add darling eg. please Mummy darling, thankyou Mummy darling etc. Mummy-duck just doesn't have the same ring to it, might keep that one a secret, just between us mum's.......

  2. and the Master speaks. We gotto admit, we all got inspired by Shell darling :)

    I'm not sure if I should run as fast as I can from motherhood or get inspired by mummy-ducks but if you can add glam to changing 65 poos a day....well maybe :)


  3. This was one of the funniest things I have had the pleasure of reading. It was so accurate but so well written.
    You are a credit to mummy-ducks!!!
    I like you love being one, it is the best job I have ever had and know that it is one that I will never get fired tired or fired from. Thanks for a great read...I must go any wipe away the tears from laughing so much!!!